Tonight is a very memorable night for both EXO and their fans right? Everyone on my dashboard is happy for the guys and I wish I could feel the same. For some reason (which deep down in my heart I think I know exactly what that reason is), I realise I’ve actually never liked exo (like ot12 and all that stuff), not even a little bit, not even at all. I’ve always been here for Sehun which is ridiculous I know because there’s no Sehun without exo. But now that I know how my true feelings are, I don’t have the heart to look at the boys and pretend that I still care for them anymore. I still like Sehun, a lot, but it is not enough for me to keep holding on to what seems to drag me down every passing day. I’ve never been good at balancing my life, and for quite some time I haven’t balanced very well between what is virtual and what is not. I’m 21 now and I feel like I have never done enough for myself, my family and people around me. Fandom is fun. I’ve made friends, good friends but I’m wasting too much time. At some point I know I will stop being here and I guess there’s no better time than this moment, when I’m most determined and sure about everything.
I will keep this blog for awhile and think about what I want to do with it. For now I will NOT update anymore.
It’s been fun but I’ve got to go. If you (still) want to talk to me, you can find me on my personal blog. Thank you if you’ve read this far.